Ibadah Sepanjang Usia (Dorothea Rosa Herliany)

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IBADAH SEPANJANG USIA
kalimatkalimat yang kauucapkan
berguguran dalam sahadatku. inilah
kidung yang digumamkan!

berapa putaran dalam sembahyang langit.
tengadah di bawah hujan yang menaburkan
ayatayat tak pernah dibaca.

aku tak menemu akhir sembahyangku
yang gagap. lilinlilin tak menyala
dalam ruangan tanpa cahaya. gema mazmur
yang disenandungkan dari ruang mimpimu
beterbangan dalam tidurgelisahku. dan
kotbah yang sayup, bertebaran dari
mulutmulut kesunyian.

telah kautabuh loncengmu? sembahyangku
takjuga menemu akhir.
Dorothea Rosa Herliany
1992

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A Servant's Letter

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It feels lighter to me now that I said it.  Yes, I know I make a lot of mistakes, but I also do the best I can.  My hope: that sweet child grows well, you too can have a career without burden.  I don't think it's wrong, it will never be wrong, because you are my priority, the best values ​​in my life.  Indeed, I made sacrifices in another way: being a servant for you. But recently I realized, from your attitude towards me your servant, that you want a king, which is not me. In this letter I apologize.  Ever said rude things to you, seduced you, persuaded you, as if I deserved it.  A servant shouldn't do that, he just needs to obey without asking, without needing an opinion, accepting everything as the best that I deserve.  Or I should be like before.  Like a slave who gives as much as I get, and takes as little as possible for myself.  I apologize once again, I took the wrong role.  Moreover, I cannot be king, because the kin...
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